Let's talk about...finances

So, it is official!  We have FINALLY met the educational requirements... we even have a certificate to prove it!  It came in the mail along with a copy of our home study and the first REALLY big bill!  I knew it was coming (the bill) but it still didn't take the shock away at seeing the total. 

Maybe this should be the post on the cost of international adoption from Canada.  This is another time I wish I lived in the States.  Their adoption cost seems to be at least $10000 cheaper.  ***Tears***

Moving past that, international adoption is EXPENSIVE!  It is actually very, very EXPENSIVE!  It is such a turn off to people with a willing heart for adoption but cannot bear the financial burden that is involved.

Before I move on, I will note that domestic adoption through the government/ministry has very minimal fees (especially if you compare it to private and international).  The ministry sets you up for success with many post adoption supports also.  So, if you have a heart for adoption and a calling then domestic may be the route for you!!! 

As most of you know, this wasn't the calling for us.  Don't think we haven't pondered it and researched it.  Heck, we have gone to adoption fairs set up by the ministry.  But, it wasn't where our hearts were led.  We were led to adopt a child with Down Syndrome.  I don't know if I posted how we arrived at Down Syndrome yet...I'll have to flip through the blog and see.  I have a feeling I didn't...I'll have to do a blog on that because we get that question A LOT! 

Anyways, we researched the heck out of Down Syndrome and adoption and adoption of children with Down Syndrome.  We also knew that we wanted a child closest to the age of our youngest (not a baby). We were shocked, to say the least, of our research findings!!  After a prenatal screening is done to determine whether a fetus tests positive with Down syndrome, 90% of those parents choose to kill their child/ abort, terminate their pregnancy! 

In other countries, parents who deliver a newborn with Down Syndrome are encouraged to relinquish their baby to the hospital/ orphanage.  The families have little options in terms of medical and social resources for raising the child. The child is considered a burden.

I'm going all over the place with this blog.  I guess there is so much to talk about and inform people about if you haven't had the opportunity to research adoption of a child with special needs before.  I said I was going to touch the cost factor though. 

We will be expecting to pay over $40 000 towards the adoption of our daughter.  Included (but not limited to) is the fee for our home study, social worker's travel expense to our home, mandatory BC adoption education, agency fees, paperwork, processing, citizenship, TRAVEL, Eastern Europe agency fees, passport and visa for daughter, translator,

Canada has VERY LITTLE in terms of grants.  Just to put this in perspective, there were a whopping total of 4 grant possibilities we could look into.  We may (or may not) qualify for one.  It is a 10 page form, complete with ALL of our personal life from finances to religion (it's a Christian grant).  We need three references and bank statements and employer info.  It is like gathering information for a home study all over again...and honestly it doesn't seem worth the pain for, what may be a MAXIMUM allowed amount, of $3000.  But...EVERY dollar is a blessing and worth the effort to get a little girl out of a cold orphanage into a family that waiting for her!!  It is no wonder that there limited adoptions by willing families!  People with the heart for adoption can not always afford to do so!    The ones who are willing to take the leap of faith either have the funds already lined up, have to take out a loan and or fundraise to offset the cost. 

There is SOOO much controversy over fundraising for adoption.  There are people that believe (very strongly) that if you don't have the means to pay for the adoption, then you shouldn't be adopting.  Plain and simple.  How many people have $40 000 just sitting around!??! 

Others believe that having more than a couple of kids is irresponsible.  They believe that these families are sucking resources from our society...blah blah blah (can you tell my position on this one ha ha). 

We have been back and forth over how we are going to fund our adoption.  We have been fortunate to have the first chunk from selling our home a couple of years ago.  The money was going to go to buying new carpet for this place (oooo, how I HATE the carpet here...it embarrasses me to no end) and a 10 year anniversary cruise for us (we didn't do the extravagant honeymoon because we were poor students back then).  We couldn't justify putting our money towards these expenses after we were called to adopt a child that needs a family.  I would have been on that cruise with a guilty conscience and every time I looked at my amazing new carpet, I would realize that our daughter was STILL in the orphanage not being held, loved, tickled, kissed, accepted.  We couldn't do it.  Adoption is what God wants us to do.  He wants us to step out in faith and BELIEVE and TRUST in Him.  Being a type A personality I am struggling (to be quite frank!). 

MANY MANY MANY MANY (this could keep going) nights I am stressing about the financial aspects of this adoption.  The travelling doesn't scare me too badly (I have never been to a foreign country, nor have I been in a plane).  The Down Syndrome aspect doesn't terrify me.  It is the funds.  I have always been the type that works hard for the money and stays out of debt (I never took out a single student loan while in university).  I keep reading other blogs to see what works for them.  We have had two different bank appointments to see about loans as a backup option.  I HATE this part.  The fees are astronomical in order to SAVE a child and welcome a blessing into a willing family!

So, ya....we are waiting on the Lord to see how this is all going to pan out.  I wholeheartedly believe that God will provide.  No doubt.  He always has.  We have ever been let down even in the midst of some very dark days. 

Please pray for our family.  Please pray for God's Will to be done and for discernment and financial blessings.

I am off to send a very large check this morning.  It was nice seeing it in our account but we are even more excited to see our daughter sooner than later!!!

Thanks for reading!  May God bless you today as well :)

Education Complete

Just a super quick update to say Thank You for the prayers! 

Our education went really well (again ha ha).  Our call was reduced from two hours to just over one hour.  We satisfied, yet another, Social Worker with our understanding of adoption lingo, Down Syndrome, resources and expectations. 

This last lady explained the reasoning for the "test" better than anyone else.  She explained that the in-person class was so many hours long and our was a drastic reduction in physical hours with an instructor.  They wanted to make sure we got all the same information.  They gave us all the same papers and we read them all. The Social Worker also explained that the families that lived in the rural areas had harder times adjusting post-adoption.

I understand WHY the need to be thorough (and I don't expect anything less than through)...I guess I just don't know why it surprised everyone we have talked to with how much research we have done on our own.  I feel like people think we picked Down Syndrome out of a hat.  I mean, really, don't all families research like crazy when preparing for an adoption; let alone a special needs one?!?!   Sheesh, I read MANY books before having my biological children...EVEN number FIVE! (OK, some of the books/articles I just laughed at because they are a bit over the top...but all-in-all most books have SOMETHING that make you go, "Ah ha!").  Why would adoption be any different?

Bah, we are trying to take everything in stride.  Tomorrow I will be getting some pictures notarized.  It took so long for people to call us back to get appointments here.  Not at all what I was expecting!  Hopefully we will be blessed with a wonderful person tomorrow and establish a rapport with him or her so that the next time we need to use them (praying that this phase comes reeeeeaaaalllly soon), we will be able to get in quicker.  Please pray for this meeting tomorrow :)

Again, thank you for the prayers. Only through God, can we walk this journey.  Our pastor said something this last Sunday in regards to how if we, as people, are comfortable in our lives and able to do our life on our own, then chances are we aren't trusting in God to the fullest and living in the Spirit.  This journey to adopt is UNCOMFORTABLE, SCARY, EXPENSIVE, HARD, FRUSTRATING and TESTS us beyond our imagination!  Yet, we are at peace that this is God's Will for us.  He is opening doors and allowing wonderful people to journey with us.  We cannot do this without God. 

With this trust in God, comes Satan and his persistent attacks.  Please continue to pray for our family.  We CANNOT do this without prayer!!!  NOT. AT. ALL.

Now that this phase is complete, we will be telling our story a bit more to other people (such as hubby's boss and coworkers and church families).  We aren't doing this (international adoption) to save anyone or to make a statement.  This is the way we were LED (by God, in case you were wondering ha ha) to grow our family.  Our prayer is that people understand this.  We do, however, feel compelled to educate others about what happens to children in certain countries that are born with special needs and we pray for God's Guidance while we dialogue with others.  We want to give an accurate and honest account of conditions and experiences that these HUMAN BEINGS encounter.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  For those that have left comments, thank you.  If you don't agree with our adoption, find another blog that interests you.  Keep the nasty comments to yourself.  We won't post them (but you already knew that). 

Welcome to a new School Year

Alrighty, where are we at right now?  Waiting...and more waiting.  Ha ha, this is an adoption trend!  If you ever wanted to work on patience and self reflection, then adopt!  It will test you like none other! 

We missed our scheduled (mandatory by the adoption agency) educational conference call two weeks ago (a certain husband forgot to plug the main phone in when we moved it into the room we were setting up for the call!  Yikes).  So now we have it this week (Wednesday).  Please pray that our call goes well and that we only have to do this one call and then can FINALLY move into the dossier preparation phase!!!!  We want this phase over with already.  At least in the next phase of the adoption we will be preparing and filing our paperwork for the country we are adopting from. 

We have to apply for confirmation of Canadian Citizenship (part 1) very soon too.  I have the paperwork filled out (weeks ago, actually) but need to get some things notarized first.  HOPEFULLY that will be done this Wednesday also! 

It has been a CRAZY busy summer this year.  We have had so many out-of-town visitors staying with us.  It was so much fun and the paperwork just get kept getting pushed to the side.  Now it is time to BUCKLE DOWN and dive right in! I say this as I am looking at school lists and extra-curricular options for the kids that will begin shortly.  The chaos of the school year is so close! 

Believe it or not, we actually made the 9:30 church service this morning (just BARELY).  Again, we are NOT morning people in this house so this was quite the accomplishment for us and a fantastic start to the new school year.  Most of us did end up having quite a long afternoon nap today (shh).  It was rejuvenating to say the least!  The early school mornings are going to be harsh! Poor teachers...at least I get to go home and nap in the afternoon with a couple of the kids! 

Something that bummed us out this week was getting word from the Canadian Director of Reece's Rainbow that our agency does not want to work with them because they (our agency) would like to start up their own special needs program!  We are so angry!  One of the reasons we signed up with this agency was because of their involvement with Reece's Rainbow in the past.  There has been such a turn over in the staff at the agency since we have signed up..  Every director (there has been three since the new year) has different "rules" and such...very frustrating and very confusing as a client! 

The woman whom we have been corresponding with at Reece's Rainbow has been fantastic with dealing with us.  We are going to talk with our agency again because we don't know the exact details why the stop with this ministry.  It was Reece's Rainbow (and prayer, of course!) that brought us to our decision to adopt a child with Down Syndrome.  They have a forum, yahoo group and facebook page.  Here is their website too: http://reecesrainbow.org/  The families are supportive, encouraging and understanding.  Most of the families are from the US.  It would have been wonderful to have more families from Canada involved!

For now, we wait and pray. 

For those of you praying for us (thank you), here is our prayer requests:

-Conference Call goes well on Wednesday and that we are able to move on to the next phase
-Call with a bank specializing in adoption loans (Wednesday) for a possible (last resort) adoption loan to meet our needs
-to find a financial solution to fund the outrageous amount needed for international adoption (We still need to do a post on this)
-find someone reasonably priced to notarize our pictures this week to send off Citizenship forms
-kids start school this week (pray for good friends, great educators, guidance, etc)
-Our Agency's relationship with us, their clients, Reece's Rainbow, the agency in Eastern Europe

Feel free to leave a comment or a question.  If you want it private, we don't have to publish it :)