Police Check

We have had a very busy week.   It is scary how fast time can zoom past you! 

We got our police checks done.  Thankfully, it didn't cost us any money and it was completed while we were at the station.  All clear :)  Phew, with the luck we have been having I was sure something was going to go wrong there too.

We have not had a smooth ride on this journey.  Every time we go to do something, we are faced with an obstacle or challenge.  It is very frustrating.  It starts to work havoc on our mental and emotional responses.  On one hand, we start questioning whether this is God's Will and then on the other hand we see this as Satan testing our faith.  Both are not good positions to be in.

All the challenges and roadblocks just keep bringing us to our knees.  So, if it is Satan...then he is getting the complete opposite reaction than he is looking to get.  We are following God.  Whether we understand what is going on or not, whether we are given challenges or open doors, whether we are going to end up with another daughter or not.  For some reason or another, we are meant to be on this journey, we are meant to reach out to others and we are meant to take this leap of faith. 

I wasn't prepared to answer personal questions with the lady at the police station.  As she was entering our information into the computer, out of the blue she says, "you must go to church".  When I validated her, she told me that what we are doing seemed like a Christian thing.  Umm... honestly, I don't know a lot of families down this road Christian or not.  Sure the majority of blogs that I read are Christian families.  Maybe there is truth to her statement, maybe not.  I am just happy she didn't categorize me in a negative way.  I am humbled that I am able to show God's hand in this adoption...very, very humbled. 

This same lady threw a couple more politically incorrect terms at me this morning as well.  It was a definite wake up call at how some members of society view international adoption,  minorities and individuals with disabilities.  Oh boy, I need to do some more reading to better equip myself for these statements. 

Drowning in Paper

Yay, I finally got the registration package today! It was an email with 25 attatchments!  Ya...that is A LOT of paperwork to read and sort through and work on.  I knew it was coming, however, I don't think I anticipated the depth of it. 

We have family staying this weekend.  Between cleaning for their arrival, skiing and a birthday party, I don't think that I will be tackling these forms until Monday.  I think this adoption is going to take YEARS at the rate we are going. 

One of the things we have to do is get a medical check signed by a doctor for all of us.  I haven't seen a doctor since moving here and I don't know what to do with this form.  I have an appointment with the new doctor in a month from now for something unrelated but that seems too far away!  I guess I will have to make some phone calls.  See, how this adoption is going to take a long time?!?

We have to get a police check done too.  This doesn't seem too bad.  I just have to figure out where to take the form :).

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!

Prayer request:  Doctor appointments go smoothly, forms get filled out in a timely manner, finances come together, continue doing God's Will.

Patient Endurance

"Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!  Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." Hebrews 10: 35-36

So, I KNOW that adoption is a slow process, especially international adoption.  I don't know how I am going to do with this whole "being patient" part of the deal though.  I'm not the most patient person on any given day. 

Right now, we are waiting for the agency to say, "we got the application form, let's move on"!  But...no call yet; not a single email either.  I guess it doesn't help that the woman, whom I was corresponding with, had just told me she just went on an unexpected parental leave and abruptly handed me off to someone else.  Seriously, since we started talking with the two prospective agencies, three woman went on maternity leave!  These are not huge agencies either.  These people are one of the keys for us to bring home another daughter!  I just love having to break in new people, especially when I do not have a clue about what I am doing...fun, fun, fun!

This is just the very beginning and I am already checking my email daily in anticipation of a response. What am I going to be like in a year or so when I am waiting for the child proposal or waiting for the travel dates? I am going to be a mess! 

Please continue pray for our family.  We appreciate all the love and support. Patient endurance to do the WILL OF GOD sounds pretty great to me right now!

Girl Power

Number 6 is going to be another princess and this time the gender is by choice!  Now do you understand why the name and format of our blog is so girly? 

Why another girl you might wonder?  Especially by choice?  Doesn't Corey have a say?  Doesn't he want a boy to carry on his name and have someone to do manly things with?

Let me start off by saying, yes, of course Corey wants a boy. Heck, I'd like to shop in the boy section too!  But, it is what it is and we are blessed with girls.  By the way, I did not force him to choose girl over boy, nor did I have to persuade him in any way, shape or form.  In fact, it was him who convinced me that a female was the more fitting choice for our family situation.  The main reason for us pursuing a girl, however, is that we are pursuing a special needs adoption.  

Because of the type of adoption we are seeking, a daughter with (____blank_____), we believe that it will be much easier for the older girls to relate to, and help out with, any "girly" issues of the youngest daughter.  (The "__blank___" is for another post!!!).  As the girls all grow into adolescents and adults, they will be able to assist (if need be) in change rooms, hotels, and basically anywhere else where privacy is needed.  Does this make sense? I hope so. 

Besides, we are already set up for girls! 

Don't you have enough kids already?

Well....short answer...nope!  Longer answer....we truly believe that God has put this on our heart! We can not deny it.  Both Corey and I often get this feeling that we are one kid short.  We have to double count sometimes because we feel like we are missing someone. 

After our third child was born, Corey and I, along with the three girls, went to an adoption fair.  We took home all the brochures we could grab.  We looked at the waiting children profiles and they tugged at our heartstrings.  After research and discussions, we decided that adoption was not for us at the time.  In fact, we were certain we were done having any more kids.  I really wanted to get a career and move our life in a different direction. 

We ended up getting pregnant months after the fair and, to be quite frank, I was mad!  I did not want to be pregnant again!  I cried, I cursed.  I kissed my chance at my goal for the type of career I wanted good-bye.  Two to Three months into that pregnancy, I started accepting my new future and after we hit the three month mark, I was OK with having another baby. 

At the 15 week appointment, we discovered the baby died.  I cannot describe the guilt I felt about not wanting that pregnancy at the very beginning.  In fact, I will go to my grave with that pain.  Everything was so rushed and there wasn't any options to allow us to grieve and accept the loss. 

From that pregnancy, I vowed to accept any and all blessings that God gives us.  Two more princesses blessed our lives after that!  After number five, we said we wanted to round things out with another one. Number six decided to attach itself to the back of my uterine artery causing a complicated and very life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.  I spent almost a week in the hospital and had to have a couple of blood transfusions.  At one point, prior to surgery, I told my husband that I may be seeing my dad right away (he had died a few months prior to this).  To this day, I feel so bad about leaving Corey to wait for me with that thought lingering over his head!

After the very, very long recovery from that ordeal, we made the decision to forgo anymore natural births.  Adoption is the very right decision for us and we are very excited to see what little girl God has waiting for us.

The journey begins

We are adopting!  Well, at least we hope to.  The application is in the mail today along with the first of many payments.  Yikes!  I had such an overwhelming peace when I wrote the check, filled out the envelope, put the stamp on and sent it to the agency.  Not too long afterwards I panicked!  What have I done???  Are we really going to do this?  Am I ready to have another child? 

It is the same feeling when you decide to add any planned child to a family; the mutual decision to forgo any birth control method and allow nature to take over.  We are in the preconception process. The time where we know what we are doing yet do not realize the full consequences of what we are doing to ourselves.  The time where we are taking pregnancy test after pregnancy test to see if there is the slightest chance something worked.  Only right now, it is a paper pregnancy and the first pregnancy test is whether the agency will accept us.

After the pregnancy test comes the invasive gynecologist appointment. You know the one…feet in stirrups, poked and prodded like a piece of meat, personal questions that make you blush. The one where you leave the appointment thinking you should have at least gotten dinner out of the deal!  The paper pregnancy gynecologist is the Social Worker in charge of completing our Home Study.  This person will interview us as singles, as a couple, collect references and medicals, look at our finances, inspect our home and evaluate us as parents.  I think I would rather stick my feet in the stirrups for the medical gynecologist than the Home Study process. 

I have been back and forth about writing a blog about our journey in adoption.   On the one hand I wonder who will read this and if it is worth my time and effort.   I’m not the most interesting person and I don’t always have the right words to say.  I’m the kind of a person that says what I think…you know the type…stick foot into mouth and wish I didn’t shove it down my throat!  I’m also they type that leaves a conversation and then hours later come up with what I “should” have said in the conversation! 

On the other hand, the blogging world for adoption is immeasurable; I wouldn’t be where I am without other bloggers who have and who are going through adoption.  As a Canadian, I found that there are minimal Canadian blogs about adoption in comparison to our American neighbours.  Don’t get me wrong, I have come across MANY American blogs that I follow, however when it came time to officially declare us going through the process, the paperwork, rules, etc. are different here. 

Creating a blog will also help us communicate to our family and friends what is going on in the process, why we are doing what we are doing, when we need prayer (umm…we ALWAYS need prayer in case you are wondering) and also awareness on issues near and dear to our hearts.

So, while I try to figure out this whole blogging thing, we are asking for prayers.  Even if you don’t understand (or agree for that matter) why we are doing this, we ask for prayers of discernment, patience, knowledge, wisdom and strength.