FAQ

Frequently asked Questions:

1.     Why do you want more kids?

We have always wanted a large family.  God has put it on our hearts to love children.  We want the kids to be able to have siblings to grow up with and love and support one another. 

2.     Why do you want to adopt?

We talked about adoption throughout our marriage.  After our third child, we looked into domestic adoption.  We went to an adoption fair, took home and read all the brochures and pamphlets.  We looked at the waiting children profiles and they tugged at our heartstrings. After research and discussions, we decided that adoption was not for us at the time. In fact, we were certain that we were done having any more kids. Christine really wanted to pursue a career which would have moved our life in a completely different direction.

We ended up getting pregnant months after the fair and, to be quite honest, were not overly enthusiastic about it at all!  Two and a half to three months into that pregnancy, we started accepting our new future that would not include the intended career path.  After we hit the three month mark, we were OK with having another baby and were getting excited about it.

At our 15 week prenatal appointment, we discovered that the baby had died. We felt immense guilt about not wanting that pregnancy from the very beginning. As a result of our loss, we vowed to accept any and all blessings that God gives us.

Two more princesses blessed our lives after that! After number five, we said we wanted to round things out with one more. Unfortunately, this one decided to attach itself to the back of the uterine artery causing a very rare, complicated and very life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.

After the very long emotional and physical recovery from that ordeal, we made the decision to forgo any more natural births. Adoption is the very right decision for us and we are very excited to see what little girl God has waiting for us.  

3.     Why a special needs adoption?

Why not!?!?!  They are people.  There are so many children that have special needs in foster care and orphanages that are rejected by society.  We believe they have just as much right being in a family than anyone else.  We don’t feel the need to discriminate based on ability.

4.     Why Down Syndrome (vs. another “special need”)?

We had to look at what our family as a whole would be able to take on.   We felt that we should choose a child without mobility issues.  We also live a few hours away from the children’s hospital and so we have to keep that into consideration regarding any health and medical needs.

Having worked with individuals with special needs, we had a pretty good idea of who would fit into our family.  Thus, we decided to pursue a child with a developmental disability.  We believe a child with Down syndrome will be able to thrive with a bunch of older sisters to help encourage and guide her development. 

People with Down syndrome in North America are going to school, getting jobs, living on their own (with support), some are even getting married!  There is so much potential and opportunities for people with Down Syndrome in our society.

5.     Why International vs Domestic?

We believe that the children eligible for adoption in Canada are better resourced than the children in other areas of the world.  Children here live in family settings in foster care, or small group homes with access to medical care, school and social services.  Although it is not the ideal family, these children have a higher chance to grow up and become valuable members of our society.

Whereas children in other countries that grow up in orphanages are destined for a very bleak future.  “Typical” children will be shown the door after they become an adult.  Most of the males will turn to crime and the females to prostitution as a means to support their selves.  Some will actually commit suicide. 

Children with special needs start out life in a hospital, baby house or orphanage until they reach the age of five.  Afterwards, if a child has not been adopted out of an orphanage, they are transferred to a mental institution for adults.  Here they are malnourished, understaffed, rejected and abused.  Most of the young children die within the first couple of years of being transferred.

 

6.     What made you choose B_ l g _ r ia?

It is one of the countries that still have orphanages and institutions for people with special needs.  After researching and praying we believe this is the country that meets our family’s desires. 

7.     Are you going for a boy this time?

No, another girl will blend right in!

8.     How can you afford to adopt?

We had some funds left over from the sale of our home after we moved here.  We do not have the full amount to cover the costs of the adoption yet, which are somewhere between thirty to forty thousand dollars (our agency, Eastern Europe Agency, travel, etc).  We will be doing some fundraisers and if necessary, we will take out a loan.  It isn't always easy, but we do have immense faith that God will provide.

9.     How can you afford to raise a large family?

God!  We moved away from friends and family to seek a better job opportunity.  We have to be thoughtful of our spending…so no trailers, quads, exotic vacations, designer clothes, movie theaters, etc.  We have a beautiful home with worn out furniture and carpet that has seen better days.  We eat a lot of hamburger, noodles and peanut butter and jam (not together though...blech!!!).  We graciously accept second hand clothes and used sports equipment.  We play outside, do crafts, play games together, and find extracurricular activities that are low cost or free. 

Our kids do running club (free), kids church club (free), take swim lessons (a couple of kids at a time), kickboxing (I volunteer with kids' class to offset some of their cost), ukulele lessons (fantastic family rate), and ski lessons in the winter (biggest fee for us but we live in the mountains and most people here ski…we are given $1000 to spend on sports a year from work and this is where we spend it).  As you can see the kids are not bored!  We just have to be more creative and willing to give of our time.  We have some FANTASTIC people here that understand large families and were able to work within our means!  We are truly grateful.

10.  Don’t you think adoption is scary?

Yes, it can definitely be frightening.  There are so many unknowns and hurdles to jump through.  However, like other previous “scary” things God has put on our heart, we have to jump in with FAITH and know that we can trust God and His plans for us.

11.  Don’t you already have your hands full?

Yep, but we also said that at one kid and then two, three, four and five!  Really, what is another?  It is another blessing!  She will be another person to talk to, play with, cry with, grow with, share food with and pass down clothes to!  (And that was just tiny list of blessings we have as a large family).

12.  How are you going to pay for their education?

The same way we did when we both went to school…(drum roll…)…work, save and if necessary student loans!   

13.  Are you Roman Catholic or Mormon (seriously, we get this question sooooo much)?

No we are Protestant Christians.

14.  Why are your kids so close in age?

God willing, we wanted our kids to be close enough in age to enjoy the milestones together and to be able to play and spend time with one another.  We pray that they will be close all the way into their senior citizen years.

15.  Do you consider yourselves to be heroes?

No!  We are doing, what we believe, to be God’s will for us and our family.  It was put on our hearts and we prayed a lot!  God is the hero.  We don’t know how we would have been able to consider this, let alone taken this leap of faith without God having our backs! 

16.  What can I/we do to help your family?

·        PRAY and ask God how to help us.  Some examples:

Forms and legal requirements are met in a timely and efficient manner

Preparation for the child coming into our family (her heart, health, etc)

Preparation for the girls’ hearts as another sister joins them

Preparation for us as we gather information and resources for Down Syndrome

Guidance and opportunities to fund the adoption

Orphanages and treatment of people with disabilities

Other families that are called to adopt

·        Attend and/or participate in fundraisers.  If you have any ideas, we are all ears!

·        Financial Contribution –We understand that this is a touchy subject for some people.  As mentioned above, international adoption is VERY expensive.  If you have the heart for adoption and feel called to provide financially, we humbly accept any and all financial contributions.

Our adoption agency is a registered charitable organization and will provide a tax receipt to those who donate in our name through them. We have a form with all of their info for those interested

We will also be looking into a chip-in button on our blog for any donations that will go directly to the adoption costs!

If you have ANY more questions about our adoption, costs, Down syndrome, please feel free to leave a message.