Wednesday Visit

November 27

Today is an emotional draining day. Little Miss does not like to be put down (I don't blame her... She's getting full attention and love right now). We tried to see her scars (from her heart surgery a year ago) and this made her very upset with us. It took a while to calm her down. The staff around us were quick to find things to "clean" so they could check on us.

After that, we were given a tour of the floor she lives on. Our facilitator says this is one of the better orphanages. If this is better, I don't want to see worse. We saw her groupa today (the kids in her group). So cute. But so many. It made me really sad to see a ten year old girl the size of a toddler in this group laying/playing with them. From the size of her head, I'm sure she has hydrocephalus.

We saw the sleeping area. A dozen cribs crammed in a small space. Was it a coincidence that Little Miss's bed had the only toy in it??? I think not.

The area she eats in... The hallway! In a teeny tiny highchair. The director was proud to show us the older kids "everything room" for food and recreation. She tells us that they teach them to be independent. Personally, I think it's just easier for them.

The tour was nice, but we wonder how much of this is a show. There are so many other rooms with doors shut. Another floor that we were not permitted to visit. Ya... Not fishy.

I'm feeling a bit homesick am overwhelmed today (I also missed my oldest daughter's first volleyball tournament today). I had to fight back tears a few times. This is hard.

Second visit was better. Little Miss definitely knows who we are. She reaches out for us when the caregivers bring her in the room. We are figuring out her personality. I love making her laugh! We even got her to play sitting on the ground with us (on our lap). I think what makes this hard is that we already see this quick change in her personality. We see her learning things (like eye contact and kisses) but it upsets me that we do this and then leave her for months. I knew this was the process and I knew it was going to be tough. It's uber excruciating when you have accepted to be her mother and feel like you are abandoning her. You want the best. You know that she is worth more than what is given here. In due time she will be here. In due time.

We saw a lot of her orphanage behaviour today that she does to entertain herself. That was very tough to watch. The rocking (this was the first time we saw her do it), the hand sucking (reason for an open sore/blister), the weird sound she makes in her mouth, and her crazy fascination with her fingers (which she contorts her hand backwards while watching her fingers).

This child needs prayers and so do the staff that work with her. The kids that are there also. We live good lives here.  I cannot wait for my baby to join us!

 

The orphanage liked the donations of clothes, toys and other things that came with us. They said some of it was used right away. Thank you to all that contributed!!!  We were given the suitcases back so we DEFINITELY will fill them again for next trip!!!

 

Posted from the hubby:

 

 "on the way home I noticed we almost hit a small dog, there are many wild dogs. Then we almost hit a second small dog, it was dark out. I said "lots of small dogs tonight". The driver replied, "we have no small dogs, I think that was a wild pig".  "  Ha ha!!!

 

"Today when we crossed the bridge that is only narrow enough for one car, but has traffic in both directions, I asked how they know who has the right of way. The explanation was it is similar to a intersection with four way stop. This left me more confused, and glad I am not driving.

 

"In BG coffee made by Nescafé is highly revered. Italy is also close by, so Italian espresso is also popular. But we haven't met anyone that knew what a latte was, so the closest drink is a cappuccino."

 

"if I order a "Coke" I get a natural juice drink called 'Cappy', if I order a "cola" I get what I expect (the pop), if I order a "Coca-Cola" I get asked which one I want (the cappy or the pop)."