Paperwork Round Two

...is FINISHED!  Whoot Whoot!  I am ecstatic!

As mentioned previously, our agency gave us A LOT of forms to fill out and people to visit before they will send over the social worker to do our home study. Our lovely references were given quite the task of saying nice things about us as well! 

I was shown the forms they had to fill out.  Oh my stars, I had a hard time doing it on myself...those poor, poor ladies!  I am so very grateful that they did this for us!  They were asked the obvious questions like how they know us, our characteristics (check list), whether we have a stable marriage, our experience with kids, how we relate to other adults, and so forth. 

The harder questions asked how many friends we have, how active we are in the community and church, how many family contacts we have. They asked how our kids would respond to another child entering our family.  How we would preserve the child's cultural heritage.  How we handle stress.  They were given another checklist of poor behaviours we may have: whether we abuse drugs or alcohol, have a poor work history, are violent, manage money poorly, have a mental illness/depression/suicidal tenancies, etc.  It sounds easy enough until your brain realizes the importance of how you word your answers.  Like my sister said, I couldn't imagine reading all the cheesy answers day in and day out!


So..what did we do for this package?

• Medical Checks - Corey, myselfI and the kids - All clear!!  We have been working VERY hard to lose weight, exercise and work on ourselves.  I was the most scared about this part of the process because we have new doctors and they barely met us.  It turned out way easier than anticipated!  And best of all...it cost us NOTHING!  Phew!
• Criminal Record Checks -Easy Peasy and also cost us NOTHING!  Seriously awesome!
• Prior Contact Check -We thought we were going to have to drive an hour for this one but were really happy to hear that the office does it here!  And it cost NOTHING as well!
• Complete an Autobiography -This SUCKED!!!  It was the worst part of this paperwork round!  Corey wrote a HUGE essay and mine was to the point.  I'm a need to know kind of person (well, except on this blog ha ha).
• 11 page questionnaire about our upbringing, discipline and parenting styles- This was also one of the most difficult surveys.  And very, very personal (like how sexually compatible are you and your partner...ummm!!?!?!  really!?!?!?!)
• Create an Eco Map -This seems rather tedious and useless if you ask me.  Google Eco Map and you'll get an idea of what it is.
• Create a Genogram/ Family Map -Basically a very extensive version of a family tree starting from our parents down to our children.
• Photocopy Marriage Certificate
• Photocopy Pay stub
• Photocopy Property Assessment/ Rental Agreement
• Get passport -This was the most expensive part of this round!  I am now waiting for it in the mail...yay (maybe I can use it for our 10 year wedding anniversary coming up -hint, hint Corey)

So, tomorrow, I will head to the post office and come back a very excited woman!  Whoot whoot!

Please continue to pray for us.  Please pray for the little girl that will (God willing) be placed in our family. Please pray for the Social Worker that will be in charge of our file (that s/he will fit our family). Please pray for our agency that we are dealing with and the people in charge of our file. Please pray for the financial support for this adoption.

Thank you for stopping by!

Update

Oh my, it has been a really long time since I posted and I am really sorry for not keeping you in the loop!  You know how it goes... a day turns into two, and then a week, and before you know it weeks go by!  I actually had two posts waiting to be published/ finished!  Regrettably, now those events and prayer requests just seem like the distant past and so I deleted them.  I will incorporate them into this update instead!  And I WILL publish this one!

Our agency gave us a lot of forms to fill out and people to visit before they will send over the Social Worker to do our Home Study.  I couldn't get into the doctor until the end of March so we have been slowly chipping away at our list.  I have received word that our lovely references have also been given quite the assignment to fill out on our behalf!  I feel really bad for them as there are some really crazy and personal questions on their forms!!!  I sure hope I didn't do anything to tick them off as they do their write ups!

So..what do we need to do?

• Medical Checks - Corey and I
• Medical Clearance -Kids
• Criminal Record Checks
• Prior Contact Check
• Complete an Autobiography
• Fill out a 11 page questionnaire about our upbringing, discipline and parenting styles
• Create an Eco Map
• Create a Genogram
• Photocopy Marriage Certificate
• Photocopy Pay stub
• Photocopy Property Assessment/ Rental Agreement

In addition to this, I need to get a passport.  I have never been on an airplane...let alone going on an international flight!  Yikes!

This all seems surreal and very, VERY daunting.  I am really nervous about my medical even though Corey has already finished his and "passed". The autobiography SUCKS to write!  They gave us a general guideline/ questions to answer but it is still really difficult to talk about myself.  I want to "get the questions right" and not answer in a way that will open me up for any major discussions with the Social Worker.  I am almost finished my very rough draft and Corey hasn't begun his yet (typical male...grr!).  He is, however, taking on the Eco Map and Genogram because he will get to do fancy things on the computer ha ha!  Two less things I have to worry about (well, sort of)!

So my dear friends and family, please continue to pray for us.  We have had our emotional ups and downs this month.  Please pray that the paperwork gets settled, for the medical exam to go smoothly, for guidance and wisdom and support and strength.  Please pray for the little girl that will (hopefully) be placed in our family.  Please pray for the Social Worker that will be in charge of our file (that s/he will fit our family).  Please pray for our agency that we are dealing with and the the new people in charge of our file. 

We are truely grateful that God is financially blessing us.  We are a long ways away from where we need to be but we have faith that God will surely provide.  Until we have the finances available, this will definitely be a fear/ concern/ prayer request for us.  I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the cost.  This is an area that I need people to pray for me about. 

Police Check

We have had a very busy week.   It is scary how fast time can zoom past you! 

We got our police checks done.  Thankfully, it didn't cost us any money and it was completed while we were at the station.  All clear :)  Phew, with the luck we have been having I was sure something was going to go wrong there too.

We have not had a smooth ride on this journey.  Every time we go to do something, we are faced with an obstacle or challenge.  It is very frustrating.  It starts to work havoc on our mental and emotional responses.  On one hand, we start questioning whether this is God's Will and then on the other hand we see this as Satan testing our faith.  Both are not good positions to be in.

All the challenges and roadblocks just keep bringing us to our knees.  So, if it is Satan...then he is getting the complete opposite reaction than he is looking to get.  We are following God.  Whether we understand what is going on or not, whether we are given challenges or open doors, whether we are going to end up with another daughter or not.  For some reason or another, we are meant to be on this journey, we are meant to reach out to others and we are meant to take this leap of faith. 

I wasn't prepared to answer personal questions with the lady at the police station.  As she was entering our information into the computer, out of the blue she says, "you must go to church".  When I validated her, she told me that what we are doing seemed like a Christian thing.  Umm... honestly, I don't know a lot of families down this road Christian or not.  Sure the majority of blogs that I read are Christian families.  Maybe there is truth to her statement, maybe not.  I am just happy she didn't categorize me in a negative way.  I am humbled that I am able to show God's hand in this adoption...very, very humbled. 

This same lady threw a couple more politically incorrect terms at me this morning as well.  It was a definite wake up call at how some members of society view international adoption,  minorities and individuals with disabilities.  Oh boy, I need to do some more reading to better equip myself for these statements. 

Drowning in Paper

Yay, I finally got the registration package today! It was an email with 25 attatchments!  Ya...that is A LOT of paperwork to read and sort through and work on.  I knew it was coming, however, I don't think I anticipated the depth of it. 

We have family staying this weekend.  Between cleaning for their arrival, skiing and a birthday party, I don't think that I will be tackling these forms until Monday.  I think this adoption is going to take YEARS at the rate we are going. 

One of the things we have to do is get a medical check signed by a doctor for all of us.  I haven't seen a doctor since moving here and I don't know what to do with this form.  I have an appointment with the new doctor in a month from now for something unrelated but that seems too far away!  I guess I will have to make some phone calls.  See, how this adoption is going to take a long time?!?

We have to get a police check done too.  This doesn't seem too bad.  I just have to figure out where to take the form :).

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!

Prayer request:  Doctor appointments go smoothly, forms get filled out in a timely manner, finances come together, continue doing God's Will.

Patient Endurance

"Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!  Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised." Hebrews 10: 35-36

So, I KNOW that adoption is a slow process, especially international adoption.  I don't know how I am going to do with this whole "being patient" part of the deal though.  I'm not the most patient person on any given day. 

Right now, we are waiting for the agency to say, "we got the application form, let's move on"!  But...no call yet; not a single email either.  I guess it doesn't help that the woman, whom I was corresponding with, had just told me she just went on an unexpected parental leave and abruptly handed me off to someone else.  Seriously, since we started talking with the two prospective agencies, three woman went on maternity leave!  These are not huge agencies either.  These people are one of the keys for us to bring home another daughter!  I just love having to break in new people, especially when I do not have a clue about what I am doing...fun, fun, fun!

This is just the very beginning and I am already checking my email daily in anticipation of a response. What am I going to be like in a year or so when I am waiting for the child proposal or waiting for the travel dates? I am going to be a mess! 

Please continue pray for our family.  We appreciate all the love and support. Patient endurance to do the WILL OF GOD sounds pretty great to me right now!

Girl Power

Number 6 is going to be another princess and this time the gender is by choice!  Now do you understand why the name and format of our blog is so girly? 

Why another girl you might wonder?  Especially by choice?  Doesn't Corey have a say?  Doesn't he want a boy to carry on his name and have someone to do manly things with?

Let me start off by saying, yes, of course Corey wants a boy. Heck, I'd like to shop in the boy section too!  But, it is what it is and we are blessed with girls.  By the way, I did not force him to choose girl over boy, nor did I have to persuade him in any way, shape or form.  In fact, it was him who convinced me that a female was the more fitting choice for our family situation.  The main reason for us pursuing a girl, however, is that we are pursuing a special needs adoption.  

Because of the type of adoption we are seeking, a daughter with (____blank_____), we believe that it will be much easier for the older girls to relate to, and help out with, any "girly" issues of the youngest daughter.  (The "__blank___" is for another post!!!).  As the girls all grow into adolescents and adults, they will be able to assist (if need be) in change rooms, hotels, and basically anywhere else where privacy is needed.  Does this make sense? I hope so. 

Besides, we are already set up for girls! 

Don't you have enough kids already?

Well....short answer...nope!  Longer answer....we truly believe that God has put this on our heart! We can not deny it.  Both Corey and I often get this feeling that we are one kid short.  We have to double count sometimes because we feel like we are missing someone. 

After our third child was born, Corey and I, along with the three girls, went to an adoption fair.  We took home all the brochures we could grab.  We looked at the waiting children profiles and they tugged at our heartstrings.  After research and discussions, we decided that adoption was not for us at the time.  In fact, we were certain we were done having any more kids.  I really wanted to get a career and move our life in a different direction. 

We ended up getting pregnant months after the fair and, to be quite frank, I was mad!  I did not want to be pregnant again!  I cried, I cursed.  I kissed my chance at my goal for the type of career I wanted good-bye.  Two to Three months into that pregnancy, I started accepting my new future and after we hit the three month mark, I was OK with having another baby. 

At the 15 week appointment, we discovered the baby died.  I cannot describe the guilt I felt about not wanting that pregnancy at the very beginning.  In fact, I will go to my grave with that pain.  Everything was so rushed and there wasn't any options to allow us to grieve and accept the loss. 

From that pregnancy, I vowed to accept any and all blessings that God gives us.  Two more princesses blessed our lives after that!  After number five, we said we wanted to round things out with another one. Number six decided to attach itself to the back of my uterine artery causing a complicated and very life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.  I spent almost a week in the hospital and had to have a couple of blood transfusions.  At one point, prior to surgery, I told my husband that I may be seeing my dad right away (he had died a few months prior to this).  To this day, I feel so bad about leaving Corey to wait for me with that thought lingering over his head!

After the very, very long recovery from that ordeal, we made the decision to forgo anymore natural births.  Adoption is the very right decision for us and we are very excited to see what little girl God has waiting for us.